Everybody Wins/Goes to Hell for this Round!

Well, voting was chaotic, dispersed, and generally inconclusive for our bonus round regarding featherynscale's DNR tattoo. But since I'm running this sideshow, I'll give out the awards here:

• leiandra's "Deliciously Nibbleable Rack" and orcjohn's "Do Not Remove" both got three votes, but leiandra gets the Speed Bonus for being the first submission!
  
• Queen's Prize goes to 8elements's "Decidedly Near Ribcage", which got K's seal of approval. :)
  
• Narcissus' Self-Congratulatory Award goes to oreibasia who may not ever have played before, and hence not realized she wasn't supposed to vote for her own "Desires Nipple Rub". However arkhamrefugee agreed with her, so it's not as if the idea was wholly without merit (the man knows something about breasts, I believe). ;)
  
• kenllama and celtic_elk take the Separated At Birth prize, having *both* submitted "Damn Nice Rack", just with different punctuation. Great minds think alike, or what? lexpendragon agreed, and voted for them, so they each get 1/2 point apiece for #4. :P
  
• The Funny Yet True award goes to #71...err, 17, "Respects Needy Dyslexics" by lexpendragon; saffronhare and (unsurprisingly) druidevo voted for it, and matchgirl42 gave it two LOLs up.
  
• zerself's entry deserves to be read in its entirety, as she put some actual thought into how to make a Do Not Resuscitate tattoo workable without violating the Princess Bride rules about perfect breasts. Her actual submission, "Do i Need a Reason?", while violating the strictest rules for Acrophobia, did collect a vote from matchgirl, and nearly from me.
  
• Finally, lexpendragon deserves the You Spent Way Too Much Time Thinking About This, Didn't You? award for having one real entry, seven runners-up, and a graphic! He actually received four votes total amongst those, but divided by 8, that's not very much...

Excellently well-played, folks.

Damned with Faint Praise (and lots of qualifiers)

This has to be the best "not-a-compliment" I've seen lately:

"...probably the best-known practitioner of alternate history working today."

Also, new icon.