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savagelove_feedStruggle Session is a bonus column where I respond to comments from readers and listeners. I also share a question submitted to Savage Love and let my readers have the first crack at giving the advice. Wanted to kick things off by highlighting this pearl of wisdom from NoCuteName… There is no such thing as … Read More »
The post Struggle Session and The Thursday Letter appeared first on Dan Savage.
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dw_maintenanceHappy Wednesday!
I'm taking search offline sometime today to upgrade the server to a new instance type. It should be down for a day or so -- sorry for the inconvenience. If you're curious, the existing search machine is over 10 years old and was starting to accumulate a decade of cruft...!
Also, apparently these older machines cost more than twice what the newer ones cost, on top of being slower. Trying to save a bit of maintenance and cost, and hopefully a Wednesday is okay!
Edited: The other cool thing is that this also means that the search index will be effectively realtime afterwards... no more waiting a few minutes for the indexer to catch new content.
girlgenius_main_feedsavagelove_feedAre there rules to revealing a cheating ex on social media? Three weeks ago, I confronted my boyfriend about his repeated requests that we “find a time to talk.” These requests were never followed by any actual talk. We’d been together for three years by then. After his third futile attempt (“We still need to … Read More »
The post The Reveal appeared first on Dan Savage.
savagelove_feedSometimes the questions we get here at Savage Lovecast Industries™ are nothing but pragmatic. A man with a moldy home asks how he can properly dry his Fleshlight. Seems important. A woman fell off a trapeze 15 years ago and has suffered sexual dysfunction ever since. Dan brings on pelvic floor therapist Dr. Rachel Gelman … Read More »
The post Not *THIS* Unicorn’s Ass… appeared first on Dan Savage.
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azurelunatic
girlgenius_main_feedsavagelove_feedMeet Michael who with the help of “Gary” goes through the looking glass into the twilight world of the bisexual male. It all starts out with your typical, wholesome 100-guy jack-off session. And then things take a bit of a turn… Whoever invented Zoom, most likely didn’t predict *this* sort of thing would happen. If … Read More »
The post After Action Report #25 appeared first on Dan Savage.
girlgenius_main_feedwwdn_feed
Fourteen years ago, Anne and I went to Pasadena Humane Society to see some of the construction our fundraising supported. While we were there, we chatted with Kevin, who was our adoption coordinator for our dog, Seamus.
Seamus had been part of our pack for about a year, and we were talking with Kevin about how much we loved him, what an incredible dog he was, and how happy and grateful we were to have met and adopted him.
I remember saying, “I don’t think I will ever have another dog who isn’t a pittie. He is so sweet, and affectionate, and so gentle, and …” I stopped because I saw a volunteer walking a puppy toward us. She was tiny and underweight, but she had the biggest smile. I knelt down to meet her, and she did a somersault into my lap, wagging her tail so fast I couldn’t see it.
“Well, they are just like this!” I concluded. Then I loved on that puppy until Anne gently told me it was time to let her walk into the shelter.
I was completely in love with her, that fast. She reached into my heart and never left. The next day, it was Anne’s birthday. We went down to the beach for a long walk, as is tradition. We were approaching the Manhattan Beach pier when I said, “I just need to confirm with you that we are not adding another dog to our pack, because I can’t stop thinking about that puppy.”
Anne told me that she didn’t pet her, because she knew that she’d fall in love, too, if she did. I don’t recall what we said to each other, but Anne called PHS and asked them to put us on a waiting list to adopt her.
A few days later, Marlowe came home with us, and she was my baby girl for over a decade. Even when she was an old lady, she was my little girl.
Just over a month ago, we found out Marlowe had lymphoma. It was so aggressive, it moved so quickly, we couldn’t stop it. We did everything we could for her, but we had to say goodbye to her last month.
I miss her so much, my heart hurts. It’s been a month, and I still look for her everywhere in the house. I’ll be okay, and then something will remind me of her and I am sobbing in a heap on the floor.
This is the first time in my life I have experienced this kind of grief, this kind of loss. When we lost Seamus, at least Marlowe was here for both of us while we grieved (and we were here for her, when she grieved). Now there’s just a big empty house and my broken heart.
I will miss her forever, my sweet little girl.
savagelove_feedI’m curious to see where Savage Lovers come down on this one… I am a 25-year-old male going through a disruptive transition period after a secret of mine got out. Here goes: I developed a panty fetish in middle school thanks to the ease with which I could search for pictures of panties and thongs … Read More »
The post The Thursday Letter: Panty Thief Outed By Aggrieved Ex appeared first on Dan Savage.
girlgenius_main_feedsavagelove_feedA happily married lesbian is super turned-on by a male acquaintance’s cologne. She barely knows the guy. So how can she ask him “What are you WEARING?” Here’s a conundrum: a sub serves two different masters. So what should she do when they give her conflicting orders? On the Magnum, everybody loves Doc Chocolate! The … Read More »
The post Lesbian Driven Wild By Man’s Cologne! appeared first on Dan Savage.
savagelove_feedI’m a 26-year-old cis gay boy. I met my 28-year-old boyfriend in an actual bar and not an app — like it was 1978 or something — so we didn’t share our sexual interests before we met. We hooked up that night and things got serious pretty quick. He was the first guy I met … Read More »
The post Outward Bound appeared first on Dan Savage.
girlgenius_main_feeddenise posting in dw_maintenanceI keep forgetting to post about this: we've been troubleshooting the "missing notifications" problem for the past few days. (Well, I say "we", really I mean Mark and Robby; I'm just the amanuensis.) It's been one of those annoying loops of "find a logical explanation for what could be causing the problem, fix that thing, observe that the problem gets better for some people but doesn't go away completely, go back to step one and start again", sigh.
Mark is hauling out the heavy debugging ordinance to try to find the root cause. Once he's done building all the extra logging tools he needs, he'll comment to this entry. After he does, if you find a comment that should have gone to your inbox and sent an email notification but didn't, leave him a link to the comment that should have sent the notification, as long as the comment itself was made after Mark says he's collecting them. (I'd wait and post this after he gets the debug code in but I need to go to sleep and he's not sure how long it will take!)
We're sorry about the hassle! Irregular/sporadic issues like this are really hard to troubleshoot because it's impossible to know if they're fixed or if they're just not happening while you're looking. With luck, this will give us enough information to figure out the root cause for real this time.
savagelove_feedMeet Marie, a shrewd, savvy, former businesswoman who tried something new, and drives a hard bargain. Sex work! Foot fetishism! Mommy issues! This episode has it all. Surely, you have SOMETHING to tell us about… Write your story and send it to Q@Savage.Love
The post After Action Report #24 appeared first on Dan Savage.
girlgenius_main_feedsavagelove_feed - Struggle Session and The Thursday Letterxkcd_feed - Border Messagemark in dw_maintenance - Search maintenancegirlgenius_main_feed - Girl Genius for Wednesday, April 22, 2026savagelove_feed - The Revealsavagelove_feed - Not *THIS* Unicorn’s Ass…xkcd_feed - Types of Board Gameazurelunatic - A Farewell to Draggongirlgenius_main_feed - Girl Genius for Monday, April 20, 2026spiralsheep in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
flaneurs - Nine notes on touristing old South Walesxkcd_feed - Europa Missionssavagelove_feed - After Action Report #25girlgenius_main_feed - Girl Genius for Friday, April 17, 2026wwdn_feed - i will miss her foreversavagelove_feed - The Thursday Letter: Panty Thief Outed By Aggrieved Exxkcd_feed - Make It Myselfgirlgenius_main_feed - Girl Genius for Wednesday, April 15, 2026savagelove_feed - Lesbian Driven Wild By Man’s Cologne!savagelove_feed - Outward Boundxkcd_feed - Countdown Standardgirlgenius_main_feed - Girl Genius for Monday, April 13, 2026denise in dw_maintenance - The case of the missing notificationsxkcd_feed - Lightningsavagelove_feed - After Action Report #24girlgenius_main_feed - Girl Genius for Friday, April 10, 2026branchandroot
