Run that by me again...?

I'm not at all clear on the cosmic significance of dreaming about being David Duchovny, undercover and cross-dressing as "Aunt Boogergum" in a gigantic black wig and ridiculously bad accent, finally ending up racing (mini) sports cars up and down a four-story drug dealer's mansion's staircase.

But I'm willing to try it again...

This has made me giggle/cackle for WAY more than fifteen seconds...

Tonight is the annual New Year's costume party held by some friends, and my costume is going to be Mephistopheles in a charcoal-grey suit, black silk shirt, blood-red tie and nails, discreet horns, and a contract.

( It's this last part that I want your help with. )

(and yes, the original does get smaller and harder to read with each clause)

I'll post the formatted PDF tomorrow later...