This Am Bizarro-Election!

[triadruid]

• The Democrats have more money.
  
• The Republicans are off-message.
  
• The party in power didn't properly vett their VP candidate (seriously, the only other options I can see are that they forgot how the Internet works, or they don't care because they've rigged the game entirely).
  
• The potential Dominionist-in-Chief is a woman.
  
• The Democrats are taking the high ground with respect to family values.
  
• A confirmed VP candidate isn't going to be ready to meet the press for another two weeks, almost a quarter of the remaining election cycle.

Seriously, what the hell, kids?

Finally, I'd like to nominate John Stewart for White House Press Secretary, whichever party wins.

He UNDERSTANDS how the media works!