"What is the best thing about being part of The Trinity?"

[triadruid]

archway asked, so I'm answering.

Probably the best thing about being part of the Trinity is the geometric growth of benefits. I believe it's easier to us to find X/Y/Z like/want/need in this grouping that it would be in virtually any ordinary pairing. If my other thirds want spicy foods, they know they can find someone who wants that, without badgering the partner (me) who doesn't dig on that sort of thing. featherynscale and I can go watch zombie films, leaving kittenpants to happily do something that doesn't involve brains in such a detailed manner. Somebody has an idea that I think is completely unworkable? They can go work on it together until it's a better idea, or until they've run it into the ground of their own volition. Sometimes I hear about it again, sometimes not... either way, nobody got thwarted or had to look very far for validation or a co-conspirator. This is a fairly big deal, to me at least, because I tried for years to fulfill the "one true destined love" fantasy^*, and mostly just made myself and my partners crazy.

Finances and chores scale to a large degree too, of course (not including kittenpants' tendency to cook for either 1 or the Mongol Horde). But that's more of a side-benefit, even though we probably never would have gotten such a nice house without it (and we actually, almost, have enough room for all of our stuff here).

Sure, there's additional problems of expansion in size; triangulation, communication difficulties, imbalance/jealousy, but they're not as significant (for us) as the easy way in which we became, essentially, "more than the sum of our parts".

* Yes, even while being in love with three different women at once. I don't get it, either...

Comments

[zerself.livejournal.com]

You know, I can't even imagine the amount of questions you each get about your relationship - (my only comparison being that I have always gotten questions about being gay from random people, often in bars from straight men...but I digress) but thanks for sharing this.

I think it might inspire everyone to go out and get boyfriends. or girlfriends. or both... *grin*

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Eh; it's also a hell of a lot of work, and *definitely* doesn't suit everyone's temperament (kinda like being straight, or gay, or Catholic).

We don't get a whole lot of questions, although the going-to-restaurants game is always exciting, because it makes the waitstaff crazy trying to figure out if they should ask to split the check, and who is the 'alpha' that they should give it to, etc... but in general life, it doesn't come up that often. Work hears about my 'wife' and my 'fiancee' and hardly anyone ever hears the difference; most assume its the same person, and that she's twice as talented as anybody else. :P I suppose if I had a picture on my desk, that might be different...

Also, your icon is Cracking. Me. Up.

[rowangolightly.livejournal.com]

Yep, that icon is cracking me up too.

Your answer really resonates for me, even with my one 'bad' (how can I call it bad when I learned so much?) experience in a live-in triad. That's how I have always felt it should be and quite often isn't.

During the rare times that our girlfriend is able to be with us (next week, yay!) that is the case; there's always someone to do something with and no one feels left out...if that makes sense.

People who don't understand dwell too much on the sex (although that's wonderful too!) or the financial arrangement and don't see the most important dynamic of the complexity of relationship and the simple sharing of time spent together. Eh, I'm not explaining it well....you did, though!

We get funny looks in restaurants too, and walking across parking lots, hand in hand in hand, especially in Oklahoma!

But to be entirely candid, I'm not sure how well it would work for us in a permanent living arrangement.

Too old for sex, or am I? says the world

[teross50.livejournal.com]

I can relate on some level,; The Red head and I get questions at our age on just being sexual. People just get a burr up their but about their concept of normal.Those of us who are polly get asked,why? When we are thinking, why not?

[royal-spice.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this post! As a currently* polyamorous person in the world, it makes me happy to see other reasonable poly people living in stable, healthy, positive relationship structures, and showing that to the world. I'm not saying you have to be the PolyPosterPagan or some such, but that you're putting the positive post out there is inspiring and encouraging. :) I look forward to meeting all 3 of you sometime...I'm sure our paths will cross.

*I say currently polyamorous because I don't claim to be "wired" that way, or fundamentally different from everyone else, or forever and always poly, necessarily; I'm just supremely flexible, methinks. Adaptable, too. ;D

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

The weirdest thing is, someone out there in the KC metro area is offering us up as the Poly Poster Children in a class about the subject, and we don't know who!

It might be someone we know...it might not! It's a little unnerving to wonder what they might be saying...

EEeep.

[royal-spice.livejournal.com]

Unnerving doesn't even cover it!

Easy question

[popefelix.livejournal.com]

Is there a larger version of the photo that userpic was generated from available?

[dubhlainn.livejournal.com]

This is totally off subject... I saw in your pics that your a WoT fan too!

A Druid, a UU, and a Wheel of Time fan? Hell I want to marry you too!

Re: Easy question

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

Yes, but it's about 200 pounds ago (collectively), so none of us are looking our best... I'll see if anybody knows where it is, or is willing to show it the light of day again.

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

*laugh* I've got no more ring fingers left.. ;)

Thanks, though, for the compliment. I'll be getting to your question next...