Experiments! Adventure! Dishwashing!
Mar. 5th, 2007 06:08 pmLast night was sort of an experiment in helpfulness, along a sideways path. Let me 'splain...
The kitchen has been getting, for lack of a better word, Scary. We've not been home a lot, which means the dishes have piled up and the stove hasn't been cleaned lately, etc. So last night my dear wife tells me that it would be really hot if I went and washed the dishes. Twist my arm, fine (this is one of my jobs in the house, on account of I have no sense of smell)... at about the same time, my girlfriend registers the unbelievable complaint that we have almost a bottle and a half of Jameson Irish Whiskey in the house, but no Scotch. The precursor to this discussion was having them hammer on my left shoulder, which has been locked up good for about a week despite having a massage from
starwyse on Saturday. It was getting better, but not great, so they put some Arnica on it and advised me to go drink some whiskey and come back in an hour.
So the whiskey is in the kitchen on the table, and I pour a two-finger glass while running water for the dishes, which are indeed terrifying. Liquid courage helps though, and I get to washing. A sinkful done, refill the glass. Another half-sinkful done, and it's starting to look like a good idea to clear out the bottle of Jameson. In that peculiar alcohol-fueled logic of the tipsy, this will solve the problem of having too much in the house. And there's only like a quarter bottle now, right?
Riiiight.
About two hours later, most of the dishes are done, the dishwasher is running, and the Jameson is gone. It was actually an accelerative process, as the More You Drink, the faster you can drink, having bypassed/suppressed the Whiskey Shudder that usually limits one to sipping. I'm marveling over my own ability to wash Pyrex without dropping it, and realize that I'm probably All Done with being upright. So I take off the rubber gloves, pivot and walk more-or-less steadily down the hall to the bedroom. I sit down on the bed and start giggling too hard to tell them what has transpired in the kitchen, but I think they get the general idea. They start petting me soothingly and making sure that the way to the bathroom is clear.
Some indeterminate period of time later, I throw up a good share of the undigested whiskey (into the toilet, never fear) and decide that perhaps this wasn't my cleverest plan of the week. Some time after that, I get woken up from the floor to come to drink some water and come to bed. I'm not entirely certain I wasn't still drunk this morning when I woke up. At first, I thought about going to work, but then I stood up. And took a Tylenol. And went back to bed for another few hours. Yeesh; at least I could tell my boss in all certainty that I did not feel well enough to come to work today either, having missed on Friday due to the having the edge of the crud going around.
Also, new icon.
The kitchen has been getting, for lack of a better word, Scary. We've not been home a lot, which means the dishes have piled up and the stove hasn't been cleaned lately, etc. So last night my dear wife tells me that it would be really hot if I went and washed the dishes. Twist my arm, fine (this is one of my jobs in the house, on account of I have no sense of smell)... at about the same time, my girlfriend registers the unbelievable complaint that we have almost a bottle and a half of Jameson Irish Whiskey in the house, but no Scotch. The precursor to this discussion was having them hammer on my left shoulder, which has been locked up good for about a week despite having a massage from
So the whiskey is in the kitchen on the table, and I pour a two-finger glass while running water for the dishes, which are indeed terrifying. Liquid courage helps though, and I get to washing. A sinkful done, refill the glass. Another half-sinkful done, and it's starting to look like a good idea to clear out the bottle of Jameson. In that peculiar alcohol-fueled logic of the tipsy, this will solve the problem of having too much in the house. And there's only like a quarter bottle now, right?
Riiiight.
About two hours later, most of the dishes are done, the dishwasher is running, and the Jameson is gone. It was actually an accelerative process, as the More You Drink, the faster you can drink, having bypassed/suppressed the Whiskey Shudder that usually limits one to sipping. I'm marveling over my own ability to wash Pyrex without dropping it, and realize that I'm probably All Done with being upright. So I take off the rubber gloves, pivot and walk more-or-less steadily down the hall to the bedroom. I sit down on the bed and start giggling too hard to tell them what has transpired in the kitchen, but I think they get the general idea. They start petting me soothingly and making sure that the way to the bathroom is clear.
Some indeterminate period of time later, I throw up a good share of the undigested whiskey (into the toilet, never fear) and decide that perhaps this wasn't my cleverest plan of the week. Some time after that, I get woken up from the floor to come to drink some water and come to bed. I'm not entirely certain I wasn't still drunk this morning when I woke up. At first, I thought about going to work, but then I stood up. And took a Tylenol. And went back to bed for another few hours. Yeesh; at least I could tell my boss in all certainty that I did not feel well enough to come to work today either, having missed on Friday due to the having the edge of the crud going around.
Also, new icon.
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Date: 2007-03-06 12:31 am (UTC)Forgive me, but I was giggling like a fiend reading that. I can so totally see you using that logic.
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Date: 2007-03-06 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 01:03 am (UTC)hope I won'tpray I won'tshouldn't have much use for it...no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 02:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 04:02 am (UTC)It all made perfect sense at the time!
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Date: 2007-03-06 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 04:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 05:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 06:15 am (UTC)Hmm...
Date: 2007-03-06 11:36 am (UTC)Luckily honey will out last my childrens' kinder, and the alcohol probably would, too.
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Date: 2007-03-06 12:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 12:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 05:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 05:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 06:35 pm (UTC)And honey, I can't do my own dishes regularly, why would you want me to do yours?
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Date: 2007-03-06 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-06 07:01 pm (UTC)Well, there you are then.
Date: 2007-03-06 08:39 pm (UTC)Re: Well, there you are then.
Date: 2007-03-06 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-07 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-07 04:00 am (UTC)